Every Facebook Conversation I’ve Had This Week: A Lightly-Dramatized Re-Enactment

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Trumper: “lol all u libtards are violent, lazy, overly-sensitive cop-haters and also sluts who don’t know how to have a normal, civil dialogue without acting like the giant whiney losers that you are.”

Me: “How is that any different from saying that all Trump supporters are xenophobic misogynists who hate all LGBTQ+ people and people of color?”

Trumper: “SHUT UP WE WON GET OVER IT OBAMA DID THE SAME THING.”

Me: “But…didn’t you hate Obama? Also, he didn’t, if we’re being technical…”

Trumper: “Stoopit lefties love splitting hairs!”

Me: “Weren’t you literally just stereotyping me and then crying about it when I did the same thing back?”

Trumper: “STOP CALLING ME A NAZI ALL THE TIME AND GO BACK TO YOUR SAFE SPACE WITH ALL THE OTHER DEMOCRATS.”

Me: “I’m actually not a Democrat, my politics align more with — “

Trumper: “SHUT UP YES YOU ARE YOU STUPID DUMBASS DEMOCRAT!”

Me: “So you’re saying that everyone on the Left is exactly the same, no matter what, otherwise it’s just a stupid Leftist way of splitting hairs?”

Trumper: “Oh look, you figured it out, maybe you do have a brain! Too bad you’re still dumb to have a real conversation lol”

Me: “I get it now! All left-leaning people are identical and all responsible for every leftist’s actions, just like all Trump supporters are Conservative Republicans who are also racist, sexist, homophobic Neo-Nazis and literally drink fossil fuels for breakfast. Except I’m not allowed to say that because it makes your emotions sad.”

Trumper: “Exactly. Your side lost because you don’t respect authority.”

Me: “…?”

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Writer of fiction, article, songs, and more. Enjoys quantum physics, Oxford Commas, & romantic clichés, esp. when they involve whiskey. HATES Journey.

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